Please, Read This!
As I look to maintain a consistent routine of writing and examining my life, often putting words on display for your entertainment, however lackluster in monetary success as it might be, I come across beautiful connections with other human beings I don’t know. And I’m grateful.
On the topic of parenting Mike Cernovich, whose substack page (The Other Side of Fear) is something I’ve grown incredibly fond of, shared an incredible truth resonating with me, especially during the holidays.
If you’re still reading this, then this post is for you…go on.
On becoming parents he says…
“You are going to see trauma cycles play out.
Whew.
I’m not going to get to specific on this. You are going to notice stuff about yourself and your spouse that you didn’t realize exist.
You’ll get really annoyed “for no reason.” Oh, there is a reason. It goes deep back into your own childhood trauma.
Be aware of this stuff. Start focusing on how you feel in certain situations. Monitor your language patterns. Are you unconsciously instilling values in your children that you might reject if you faced them with eyes open?”
I see this in action. Full force. A marvel to look back at and examine but anger producing at the moment. And the crazy part is that we don’t even know where it comes from at the moment.
You see, I don’t get angry because YOU are moving my things around the house whenever it suits you. I get angry because my mother when I was a child, would invade my privacy–yes, I believe I had it then–and move things around to the point where I never knew where they might be.
It’s about individuality. An individuality I didn’t have when I was younger. It has nothing to do with not wanting to build something great as an adult but everything to do with overcoming those events that are forcing me to be someone else. We all suffer from this evolution into someone we are not–or at least not who we feel inside. This is why sometimes we feel trapped.
Someone inside of us is trying to say that we are off track but that voice can’t speak, it can only feel. It can only nudge us or give hints along the way.