Every year Baltimore hosts the Baltimore Comic-Con. Every year my dad, brother, and I become big kids for one day. It’s time to grab those comics that have been sitting on the shelf, check for writers and artists and get those signatures! This has become so much fun.
My dad has been collecting since he was a kid. He’s got it all. Baseball cards, action figures, comics, and stuff that has spent decades accruing value. In truth, he’s the guru and I’m the kid that is just trying to pick up where we left off. When I was young, he gave me a lot of these items for myself. Now that I’m older I wish I paid more attention growing up but I was distracted by the Military for ten years. The military will do that to you.
Ok, let me get to the point.
So I’m at comic con. I hear an announcement on the loudspeaker that John Leguizamo will be signing autographs for a graphic novel he wrote and so I was like …”whaaaaaaa, that’s crazy.” I find his booth and to my surprise, he was like ten feet away—Like a regular person, just chilling. So I get into his line. Standing in line in front of me…Green Lantern.
Not Ryan Reynolds, that would’ve been crazy, but some random guy dressed as a Green Lantern. I’m dressed as Superman to enjoy this day with my son who is dressed like Buzz Lightyear, so I’m not one to judge. Do you. Imma do me.
He says hello, I say hello back, and then it happened.
“How’re things with Louis?” He asks me.
I play into it. “She around here somewhere my son, dressed as Buzz Lightyear and it’s nice to get away from crime fighting for a few hours.”
Funny stuff I know! I’m a regular riot. We continue.
“That Louis lane, always writing stories am I right? You’re out fighting crime and she’s down somewhere, writing stuff. I mean that’s it? What does she do?” He responds to me.
At this point I’m like ok fine I’ll entertain you for another minute or so. I quickly consider defending my wife Louis, because you know, I’m Superman.
“Yeah man, plus she’s on Instagram all the time. Not cool!” I say politely but also discretely trying to show that I’m not in the mood to role-play. (I know this is my fault, I’m standing there dressed as Superman).
“Not to mention your children are teens and recently discovered they have powers, so it must feel like you’re no longer the man of the house or like they test you, huh?” He continues in full character.
This is when I realize…shit, I’m in a situation.
“Listen here man, please shut up and understand this is a damn costume! I AM NOT SUPERMAN!” This is what I wanted to say but to avoid the risk of being an asshole and creating a scene in front of the actual John Leguizamo, I decide to say, “yeah, ha ha that’s crazy.”
I find myself in line, for at least 15-20 minutes practicing the best quiet game skills you’ve ever seen. I’m practically staring at ceiling tiles trying to avoid the continuation of this conversation. And then it happens.
I’m next. I’m about to meet John Leguizamo.
The Pest, Super Marios Bros, Carlitos Way, John Wick, and so much more. I’m so excited to share some words.
He says hello, and I think I said something like, “damn it’s Benny Blanco from the Bronx.” (Shrugs) I had no plan.
I had no plan because Green Lantern was busy staying in character and distracting me. What a dumb situation.
I pulled my son up to him and told him that Sid and Bruno’s voice was made by this guy. He had no clue what I was talking about—he’s five. But John was super cool. “Show him the picture when he’s older and it’ll all make sense,” he told me.
Isn’t that a truth about growing older? Some things are just not understood until we become older. When we are young we think the world is ours for the taking, and as we get older we realize there’s more than just that. but along the way cool things happen and we meet people like John Leguizamo, share a cool moment and keep moving.
And yes, I supposed we meet Green Lanterns too.