As an Airman Leadership School instructor, one of the greatest benefits of the job is the opportunity to learn from the personalities and experiences of my students. Every class has its own strengths, weaknesses, and perspectives. Getting to know them on a personal level is the most rewarding part of this job. Here are some things I’ve learned by doing this job.
Listening (actually listening) is so valuable and will make you better.
There are three types of listening skills I usually employ during discussions in class.
Empathic, critical, and informative listening is so important to understand.
Empathic Listening helps me fully understand how people feel on a subject. In the military (and outside too) we face obstacles that can be difficult to overcome while we are away from family. This is one of the things we experience when we say goodbye to our family, and support system when we enlist in the military and leave home. These feelings, emotions, and perspectives are so valuable, but they sit idly by waiting for someone to listen. Listening (actually listening) to each other with a desire to understand where they are coming from is the best way to tackle this.
Informational listening best works when we have to gather ‘information.’ The funny part about this one is that we think the information we need to pay attention to is in what people are saying, and while there is truth to that, we also have to listen to the information they are not telling us. The body language, the facial expressions, and the words used tell us just as much as the actual message being sent. Paying attention this these little details will always show us the answers. Sometimes we don’t have to ask if we are paying attention.
Critical listening is probably my favorite. I think this one infuses the others. When people talk to each other, we are being vulnerable. We’re taking a chance. We’re Hoping someone else is listening. This level of trust is important to take care of. When we talk to each other we have to do better at listening to the little details of what they are saying. Whenever I pick up little parts of what I’m being told I can better solve a problem, validate a person, encourage, and motivate. The best part is asking clarifying questions. We have to get into the habit of asking people what “they mean” when they say something.
Ask the five whys.
I’m tired today.
Why?
I was up late.
Why?
My child was throwing up.
Why?
They’re sick.
Why?
It’s been difficult to keep them healthy while they’re exposed to other kids at school and dealing with coughing and stomach aches and stuff. I understand this is a simplification and honestly, this specific line of questioning can get annoying but I’m mainly talking about being genuine and giving a crap enough to ask more questions or multiple times so that you can better connect with someone.
This is a marathon, not a race!
Why do we keep comparing ourselves to each other? I mean seriously. The fast life. Cool.
I struggle to comprehend how humans can be so short-sighted. Sometimes I get students that expect Airman Leadership School to change them completely by the end of week one. This is not realistic. The goal is to achieve change by graduation day.
In American Society we look at our favorite celebrities and think this is a sign of a good, fun, fulfilling life.
It is not.
“Gung-ho” students often slow down and fade away by the time class is done. The students that start slow are usually the ones leaving with accomplishment and a sense of change in their hearts.
I remember becoming an instructor and feeling down and discouraged when, after a week, I didn’t feel connected to my students or felt like we weren’t going to make it.
Am I making sense up there? How can I connect? How can I make sure they get what I’m saying? These are all questions that cloud my mind as I’m teaching, especially toward the beginning of class. Even after almost 3 years of teaching I still feel like this. Sometimes I need to step back and remind myself that this is a marathon, and we have time to gain traction. Once we do…it’s glorious.
It’s FUN!
Being an ALS instructor is just fun! Humans are complex creatures, and teaching leadership skills to a large group of individuals can be both challenging and entertaining. I love the challenge of finding new and creative ways to engage my students and help them develop their potential as leaders. The nature of the classroom setting is something I cherish so much. If I can properly assess my students, implement tools and tactics, and eventually get them to buy in, the four weeks become something we all never forget, but also have a lot of damn fun!
Don’t get me wrong, this takes a lot of energy and time. It can be emotionally draining, and I constantly have to check in with myself and keep my work-life balance in check. For me, this means I write and share ideas with you fine readers. I watch movies, draw, and spend time alone ‘re-centering’ myself. When I take care of myself, then I can take care of my students and have tons of fun along the way.
Like, a lot of fun…for real.